Linear Algebra

One of my worst weekends; had the worst rolls in DnD ever and i got to see the girl i like for 50 seconds.

4 weeks to go until i go back to Cyprus for the Christmas holidays. Tests finished so no real motivation to study at the moment. Only thing I can do is attend (most) lectures, do weekly tutorials and stress out for the lack of motivation. I wonder how the others feel.. do they feel the same? Do they need the same motivation i do? Do they not need motivation to study? Am I not ready for university, if the latter is the case? Although this morning i did read a bit about linear vector spaces and spanning sets of vector spaces which i should have done on the mid terms but i didn't, thus the 55% i got in the test. I'll do better in the exams. No slacking there. Might even casually read over during the holidays.

Anyways, yesterday night we decided to play our second DnD session (finally). For those (few) who don't know it its an RPG board game, similar in style to World of Warcraft. I have a level 1 minotaur barbarian who does A LOT of damage. I had to fight to relatively easy mobs, one by one, since one of them was a few rounds away. To keep things short i missed attacks 4 times in a row (!) and i fell unconscious. The DM said my character wont die so im not too upset about me possibly dying. Im more upset about my luck. the probability of me missing 4 times in a row was (8/20)^4 which is quite low and even the DM felt sorry for me. And thats where yesterday's session ended for me. The others continued playing but my lack of interest for their stories made me fall asleep on the couch.
Woke up this morning (noon to be honest) and my flatmate was missing, I found out he went to the history museum with a couple of other friends. Thank god he didn't wake me up to go with them. Its not that im not interested. I think i would find a science museum quite fascinating. Especially after i found that they have a flight simulator. That, i imagine, would be something i would enjoy quite a lot. Had a coffee, read a bit of linear algebra, had something to eat and decided to watch the Chelsea - Liverpool football match. While i was watching it my flatmate calls me telling me to hurry up and come to Harrods since the girl i really like was there. I had a quick shower, hurried to the underground and off to Knightsbridge i went. All this took me 50 minutes as the journey was 30 minutes long. As soon as i arrived, Harrods was closing down, so they came out. At that time i saw her after 2 months. Was so nice to see her. She hadn't changed one bit. She was still the beautiful, and at the same time cute, girl i fell in love with during the summer. She did look a bit down for some reason. I don't think i know, although she had told me she was a bit stressed out about uni.. Im pretty confident she'll do just fine. If im to be trusted she doesn't look dumb at all. We kissed cheeks but i didn't feel she felt anything... I should have hugged her. I missed that opportunity like the idiot i am. I should have told her I missed her. I shouldn't have let that moment go like that. After that I came back home. Was a pointless 50 minute struggle. At least I got to see her even for that little time. I really want to express my feelings to her but other then a crush she is also a friend. Not a very good friend, but a good friend. I don't want to have fun with her. I want to build a relationship with her. I want to make her feel better when she's feeling stressed out. I hear whoever gets in a relationship with her has trust issues. I would trust her. Break my trust and i don't think i could give a second chance. After all she isn't dumb. During the summer i thought the feelings were mutual as she was really close to me. She trusted me in driving her somewhere, we danced at a club one night, every second night we would go for coffee or a drink. It was really nice. Then second year of university came and it stopped. It's a real shame. I text her a couple of times to see how she was doing but that's all. Tonight was the first time after summer I had seen her and it was shit.
Some shitty weekend this was. Hope it get's better.